02 November 2008

i am a recovering meth addict.

this is my therapy.


it says "Made Perfect Through Suffering".
i am not perfect.
but my recovery is.

what i mean by that... is that even though i struggle with addiction every day, my recovery is in full blown perfection because it is in progress, and it is working. feel free to debate with me on this.

so anyway, i've come to find that the easiest way for me to deal with it is to watch, read, inquire everything i can about drugs and addiction. some people say i feed off of it, and maybe they're right. watching other people go through what i went through is fulfilling to me. that sounds a little sick... but hey, to each his own, right?

i recently came across Nic Sheff's book, TWEAK. man i can't put that book down. i've read it at least 10 times already. i'm one to repetitiously watch or read something if i thoroughly enjoy it that much. he has a blog on this website too. Nic, to me, represents the fragile side of addiction and recovery. he is more humble than i am, in a way. i, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. i flaunt and praise my recovery, and have also never been to a rehab or detox program. everyone handles things differently. his book makes me feel strong.

am i rambling here? i didn't sleep much last night. i was freaking out about daylight savings time and getting to work on time, because my cell phone was acting weird. it's the only source of time i have in my apartment. my cozy little apartment, which i aqquired 9 months after getting clean, that i share with my boyfriend. today is our three year anniversary. he, of course, is not a recovering addict. never touched meth in his life. oh thank God for that.

let's actually work now. poof! i'll be back.

1 comment:

mystysaint said...

:) I'm glad I found you, not sure if I know you from somewhere else, but you're right..

we all recover in our own ways.
It wasn't meth for me, but I had a similar problem - I didn't go to rehab, I didn't do 12 step programs, I just finally realized it wasn't fun anymore..

..and then I was done.

I wish it had been sooner, but at least it was at all..

thanks for sharing this